By Al Rabenold
Editor’s note: Here a whimsical look at the future, 50 years from now, in 2071, that might provide some comic relief as we attempt to recover from the Derecho and the Pandemic of 2020.
President Tyler Geiger throws out the first ball on opening day for MLB as the Washington Nationals host the New York Yankees with the High Bank Old Men performing the National Anthem.
Tama Casinos president and Indian maiden known as Chiefette Running Bare, purchases the Washington Football Team. She plans to rename the team “Pale Faces”. Protests are expected in our nation’s capitol.
Following several years of drought the city of Deep River City Council votes to change its name to Shallow Creek.
Former 8-man football stars, Cole Watts, Eddie Burgess and Trey Shearer, plan to attend the Poweshiek County School board meeting to protest the pending change to 6-man football, brought on by declining enrollment.
Iowa Governor P.J. Mahaffey mandates all students grades K-6 must wear masks during recess in order to mitigate the spread of COOTIES-20.
Dr. Brayden Stockman, head of the CDC, says the cooties virus pandemic has really only affected grade school girls and boys and seems to magically disappear once they reach puberty.
Descendants of the Pierce family plan to build their own Casey’s convenience store in Deep River, naming it after the city’s long-time mayor, Casey Pierce. Lawsuits are expected to follow.
Tired of hearing complaints about the roads at Lake Ponderosa, the Ahrens family builds a race track connecting Lake Ponderosa and Lake Silverado. The first race held on the new track will be the Tesla/De Jong 500.
Elderly Marion County resident Nathan Wheeler, returns to his hometown to open a sheep farm known as “Good, Great & Wonderful”.
Star Lanes continues to be a Sunday House of Worship where parishioners shout “Praise the Lord” when they bowl a strike. No mention of what some shout when missing an easy spare.
Brett Maschmann retires after 50 years of service to our country as an undercover agent for the FBI.
With a renewed interest in newspapers by young people, 76-year-old photojournalist, Ally Fillmore, returns to Montezuma to resurrect The Record newspaper by purchasing Dunham Enterprises Corporation.